I just finished listening to a message from Francis Chan entitled the "Holiness of God." Read Revelation 3 and 4. It's similar to what Larry shared at prayer meeting. And I just realized how big and awesome God is. That nothing else matters. Whatever good I am doing, how much I know the Bible how much I serve others and love them, my grades, my job, if I ever get married. When I face God in heaven and stand before His holiness. I will shrink and cower. I will be undone like in Isaiah 6. God is holy! He is holy, holy holy. And whatever I can hold on to, whatever security, whatever things I can claim for myself there is really nothing that matters.
What am I doing with my life? Why am I so worried about the future? Why am I trying so hard to be in a relationship or figure out summer plans. All I really want to do is follow God. I think that's why it's so comforting to be around believers. Instead of worrying I can just act and serve. Instead of focusing on myself, I can focus on others. I can work on things that will last rather than just serve myself which means nothing. I am so worried about grades, about people's opinions of me, about my future, about VSET or jobs. But none of that is going to matter.
So what am I doing? What matters?
On a tangent, I think I've read way too many comics and watched to many animes and played too many video games. "Getting stronger," "leveling up," "growing," they all don't exist. I don't think God can ever make us stronger. In comparison to His greatness, to His holiness, I don't think we can ever achieve any measure of aptitude that allows us to be better, wiser. We will never get a uber sword move that allows us to slay enemies in one hit. In comparison to God we are still nothing. In fact, all growing stronger means is knowing that you are nothing and God is everything. It means humbling yourself so that God can lift you up. It means surrendering and letting go so that God can help. Spiritual Discipline/training are kind of an oxymoron. It doesn't mean we get stronger, but it means we surrender to allow God to do more.
God is everything. People are everything. What else matters?
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far out weights them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
-2 Cor 4:16-18
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